I call it "The Amy Winehouse Effect"

Have you ever come away from a session of surfing the Internet, looking at train wrecks in Hollywood and elsewhere, and thought “Damn, we’re way too connected”?

I have. Several times. And I’ve come to call this “The Amy Winehouse Effect”.

Why Amy in particular? Why not Brit-Brit, or LiLo, or Paris, or one of the dozen other celebrity ho-bags? Why do I use Amy Winehouse as my touchstone? It’s simple. She, unlike the others, has actual talent.

I had at first rejected the notion of buying her “Back to Black” album. I mean, c’mon, the big hit is about how “they” (seemingly meaning “everyone”) tried to get her to go into a rehab program for substance abuse and she told them all to pound sand. Not your typical role model of the week. It just seemed too trashy. Too low-brow. Like I would be supporting someone who needed to get their life turned around rather than lauded. Like…like…uh…geez, that song’s really kind of catchy.

In a moment of weakness, and an effort to add some current material to my music collection by joining BMG, I ordered the album. I’ve had it for over a month now, and it seems I listen to part or all of it pretty much daily. It’s on the verge of being a joke. But it’s just that good. Sure, she has some inappropriate language. Not Eminem calibre, but it’s there. What she also has is an amazing voice, and honest-to-goodness real instrumentation and composition in her songs. Much of the album doesn’t even have a guitar. You listen to it and can easily imagine hearing exactly this same performance live, in an intimate club setting, exactly as it’s meant to be.

And when I realized all of that, I immediately saw just what all this connectedness of the Internet had done to me. Done to all of us. It has been collectively tainting our souls by making it a popular sport to find as much fault in each other, and especially the famous, as possible.

Amy Winehouse, for all her troubles (and they are legion), isn’t any worse in how she is conducting her life than many of those famous musicians and artists that preceded her. Led Zeplin were known to have done some incredibly outrageous and drug-fueled things in their day. John Bonham died from his excesses after all. As did Hendrix and others. The Beatles attained many of their sounds while under the influence. Go back far enough and you’ll find Mozart largely inebriated throughout his genius.

This isn’t to say that what any of these people did was right. Again a quick tutorial for those non-Mormons: we believe in a little thing we call the “Word of Wisdom”. The long and the short of it is no alcohol, no drugs, no coffee, no tea, and no smoking. Along with the no sex outside of marriage, some people think we must be more dull than a convention of chartered accountants, but really we’re quite enjoyable to be around and in an awkward moment make for superb designated drivers. So I by no means condone chemically altering one’s brain in the name of art. However, that isn’t to say that the resultant art can’t still be appreciated. And what’s more, when all of these people created their art the entire world wasn’t blathering on daily to each other about how trashy the artists’ lives were outside their work. The odd story would crop up, like the John Lennon “bigger than Jesus” comment, but it wasn’t constantly on the nightly news.

Can you imagine what it would have been like had the Internet existed in late 1800’s France? How many people would have been relentless in their pursuit of the distasteful details surrounding the crazed ravings of Vincent van Gogh? And how much more or less likely would it have been that the world would then be able to recognize the beauty in his unfortunate insanity? He would more likely have been turned into tabloid fodder and ground under the heel of a society consumed in its desire to point at those less respectable than themselves in a vain effort to feel superior. Which likely wouldn’t have changed his outcome other than to hasten his inevitable end.

So all that’s said to get to this: Amy Winehouse is a wreck, but I don’t care. The fact that I nearly let the Internet and tabloid gossip machine prevent me from listening to (and legally owning let’s not forget) one of the most enjoyable albums I’ve had in a long, long time is depressing to me. My career is focused around the capabilities of the Internet, and the gossip machine is one of those abilities that really taints it for me. It’s like renting a herse for a family trip. Sure I’m using it for honorable pusposes, but I can’t shake the thought of the bodies its buried which kind of ruins the experience.

We need to stop turning into a bunch of Romans looking for the next spectacle. People need to stop digging dirt for fun and sport. More importantly, I want Amy Winehouse to get her life in order so she doesn’t wind up dead from an overdose. Because she needs to make another album. I’ll buy it when she does.

Na na na na na na…You say it’s your birthday

September 11, 2001 is a date with a lot of national significance. It’s also a date with a lot of personal significance for me, because today is my oldest daughter’s fourteenth birthday. She happens to also be a Beatles fan, so my cheesy title get a little sentimentality sprinkled on top. I’m a sucker for that kind of stuff. I also tolerate chick flicks well, so it’s a wonder that I’m still single.

Six years ago my business was still newish, and operated completely out of the front room of my home. This meant, of course, that it wasn’t unusual to have the news on. Which meant that on 9-11 I was glued to the television. I was dumbfounded and angry. Then numb. And then…and then I remembered that my oldest was having a birthday at school right then and there. It was her eighth birthday, which for the unintiated is pretty important in the Mormon world. It’s the age at which kids are baptized, and my daughter had been very much looking forward to this birthday.

She came home that afternoon, and the look on her face said it all. “How was your birthday?” I asked.

“It sucked”, she replied.

A very to-the-point answer. She’s good at those. If it had been me, I probably would have said, “Like a shop vac, alternately sucking and blowing.”   But “It sucked” satisfied the need just fine, because as she began to explain, she had already realized that for pretty much the rest of her forseeable life, her birthday would be inextricably linked to a national tragedy. And it bummed her out. Big time.

For the following three years until the emotional tidal wave of divorce hit, she would start openly bemoaning how the news stories of the anniversary were popping up and ruining her birthday. As a young kid it’s hard to keep things in their proper perspective of course, and your birthday is supposed to be celebrated with songs that don’t come in a minor key.

Life is a cruel educator though, and with my divorce there was a lot to process. So this year I’m happy to say that there was no complaint of a birthday being ruined. Instead she made cupcakes to take into class for her birthday, ready to share “her” day with “our” day. She has grown into a fine young lady. I’m proud that at fourteen, she sees that the world doesn’t revolve around just her. Or at least not completely. Not bad for a teenager of today.

So happy birthday, kiddo. I’m a proud dad.

Only 14 Months of Disappointment to Go

I’m a politically conservative guy. Some may say “Well duh. You’re Mormon. Of course you’re conservative.” Oh how wrong you are to think that! I’ve known a few liberally-minded Mormons over the years. Mind you, they’re rare as a snowfall in Southtown, and half of those I’ve known are relatives of Brokeback, but they do exist.

So being a conservative type, I thought it might be a good idea to watch the Republican candidates debate each other last night. Get informed and see who I’d be willing to back. All that good stuff. I had been thinking I would like Mitt Romney based on some of the stuff I’ve heard from him in the past. Giulliani is someone that I have a hard time backing largely because my personal background with marriage. Cheats tend to put me off. But that’s just me. Plenty of people don’t have a problem with cheaters at all. McCain I just don’t get.

What I came away with instead was the following summary for the GOP hopefuls:

• Sam Brownback
  Nice guy with what sounds like reasonable thoughts. Not a chance in hell of getting elected.
• Rudy Giuliani
  He has a lot in his personal life to live down before I’d be comfortable with him.
• Mike Huckabee
  Got the most points from me for his very passionate, and obviously honest (or Oscar-worthy) position on the honor of our country and us as a people. Also not a chance in hell of getting elected. He’s talking about honor in a presidential race, after all.
• Duncan Hunter
  The robo-candidate. If this guy sounded any more cold or calculating, he’d be a liquid-cooled processor in a high-end computer (geek reference). While his ideas didn’t sound bad, he’s the perfect charicature of the cold-hearted Republican that more liberal people love to paint.
• John McCain
  He’s a great centrist Democrat. A man that panders this much shouldn’t be trusted to walk my dog, let alone run my country.
• Ron Paul
  Good freaking grief. If John McCain is a centrist Democrat, this guy is the DNC chairman. I have no idea what he’s doing in the Republican party, let alone trying to win a nomination in it.
• Mitt Romney
  What happened to the Mitt of a few months back that was affable, casual, and easily spoke his mind? He looked like he had a broomstick under his shirt, a corn cob up his butt, and a hand in the back of his neck making his mouth move. If a man can’t be himself, he’s hard to trust.
• Tom Tancredo
  Was he in this debate? He was? Was he dressed up as one of the other candidates or something?
• Fred Thompson
  He wasn’t even on the debate. He hadn’t even announced his candidacy yet. But somehow he still got as much or more attention in the debate than everyone else. That alone probably puts him ahead of all the others, even though I don’t know a thing that he stands for yet.

So the short version is that there were a bunch of nice guys that finish last, stealth Democrats, and political weasels on the stage. And one guy who seems to know how to play them all like a fiddle so far not even showing up. If this is what the Republican party has to offer, the next year-plus is going to drag on for a long time.